I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
