Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
