Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
