and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
