I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
