marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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