Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
