Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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