I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
