she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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