He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
