she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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