Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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