My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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