So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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