she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
