Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
