dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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