Where are you?
In a non slutty way
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
