:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
