Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
