So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
