Porn is love you can see.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
