he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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