Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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