so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
