Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
