I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
