the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
