we're blogging at a bar
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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