remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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