I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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