I want to make a zoo with you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
