I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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