No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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