You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
