when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
