Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
