I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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