Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ttyl tear gas
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
