I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
