When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize