Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
