should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
being pregnant is like rehab
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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