Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

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(812): View more from Indiana

can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?

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(720): View more from Colorado

By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."

(815): View more from Illinois

oh god.

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(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(989): View more from Michigan

you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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(908): View more from New Jersey

how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life

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(631): View more from New York

We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa

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