Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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