Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
