Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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