I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
