So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
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