Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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