Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
