My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
