My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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