this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
