Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
