I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
