i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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