my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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