We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
