Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
